Home...

Home...

An environment offering security and affection? A place of refuge and rest? One's native land? A house where one lives with their family? The eternal dwelling place of one's soul? A safe place where one feels loved and accepted? What does "Home" look like for you? 

Sometimes life throws its worst at you and all you want to do is throw yourself in some slimy pit. You want to shut the world out of your mess and lock yourself in there. You numb yourself with feelings of sadness, worthlessness and despair. All that's left is a lonely heart whose rhythm is quickly fading away. If we're honest, when it gets to that and it feels like we're so alone, we want to make it worse by shutting God out too. It could be because we feel that He has failed us by not coming through for us or that we are unworthy of His loving kindness and mercy. 

Truth is, however, that not even the most impenetrable gloom of night can shut God out. He is inescapable. You can never outrun Him. You can never 'shut him out.' The knowledge of His Omnipresence is all you need to navigate the darkest of seasons. Even 'there', He is still with You! His name? Emmanuel.

All this I learnt after having to go through multiple transitions in a short period of time. I'm the kind of person that loathes every kind of transition. I'm quick to make a home out of every season of life that comes my way so when that changes, it gets me quite disoriented and unsettled. It's taken a while learning this simple truth (close to an entire year!🤧), but I'm so glad I know what I know now. Seasons will come and go, but my God will Always be with me. 😊

No longer will I make a home out of the shifting seasons, because this will only mean grieving even over the slightest of changes. Now I know that if there's a place I want to call home, it had better be in God alone. He alone is my constant. He is forever faithful, forever good. (You might want to listen to the song 'God with us' by Terrian ♥️😊). Now I can believe, hope, love, laugh, and most of all, experience life at its best no matter what season comes my way. My prayer is that you will too.

It's encouraging to know that even Bible personalities were not exempted from such predicaments. I read this psalm of David in the "Voice" version...it's never been so real. Check this:

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Psalms 139:7-12 Voice 

Can I go anywhere apart from Your Spirit?

Is there anywhere I can go to escape Your watchful presence?

If I go up into heaven, You are there.

If I make my bed in the realm of the dead, You are there.

If I ride on the wings of morning,

if I make my home in the most isolated part of the ocean,

Even then You will be there to guide me;

Your right hand will embrace me, for You are always there.

Even if I am afraid and think to myself, “There is no doubt that the darkness will swallow me, the light around me will soon be turned to night,”

You can see in the dark, for it is not dark to Your eyes. For You the night is just as bright as the day. Darkness and light are the same to Your eyes.

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Someone who is trying to "escape" God's watchful presence is either hiding after having sinned and is ashamed (like Adam and Eve), or is going through a dark season and is trying to 'shut God out' like I'd said before. From the Psalms of David we get to learn that he was often depressed, but he knew too well that he couldn't navigate such seasons in the dark. He always sought God's light. He knew that God was right there with Him and could rescue Him. (Refer to Psalms 69, 40:1-3, 42,43. PS. Not all of them were by David.)

I found that so powerful. No matter where I am I can never be out of God's sight. No matter how far I go I am still within His reach. Even when I think I'm slipping or worse still, slip from light to darkness, He will defy the odds by still being present as Light in that dark spot. The beauty is that He isn't just with me to merely spectate or mock me in that fallen state, but to guide and hold me close as He shepherds me again in paths of righteousness.

Enough about the lessons learnt (it's about time I open up a little🫠). PS. I'm adding this part now(25/07/2023, 8.45 a.m. EAT)...it wasn't part of the original blog 🙃.

Last year was quite an eventful year for me. Finishing high school education is usually something people really look forward to, and that time had come for me. Funny thing I wasn't exactly so happy about the fact that that would mean leaving the place that had become "home" for the past four and a quarter years and having to readjust. I had made amazing friends, beautiful memories and was totally comfortable there. 

Barely a month after clearing, the results were out and I had done quite well (for which I am ever so grateful 😊). In no time I was offered an amazing opportunity to work with Equity Bank through the ELP Program. It was nice you know, earning money at that early age in a corporate setting (I wasn't even eighteen yet). Probably the most I had to deal with then was handling the not-so-friendly supervisors, the not-so-patient customers and the newness of it all. By the time I was genuinely beginning to love and enjoy the experience the contract was over and it was time to move into yet another season--campus life.

Joining the most prestigious university in the country (well at least before I saw it for myself) to do the most coveted course by almost every Kenyan child at one point in their life, was a big thing. I wasn't too sure about being a doctor while in high school but the weighed cluster points were more than what I needed, so there I was. I was excited about it and I looked forward to carrying forward that same excellence I always had even there. Of course I had heard the stories about medical school being more like a bed of thorns, but that wasn't even the major issue (later it was though 🥲).

I'm not a very socially outgoing person, so making friends in a completely new environment takes me much time. Most importantly, finding like-minded individuals is an even harder task. Let's be brutally honest here 😂. When everything about you is centred on God, chances of you getting a place where you don't have to fit in but can actually belong are rather slim. Sometimes I think I'm on the extreme end you know. From the kind of movies I watch, to the books I read, music I listen to, conversations I love, blogs I write 🙃, and everything in between, it's either about God or the Bible(it's one and the same thing but oh well). 

Unlike before, I wasn't able to make a home out of that  particular season of my life, which was tragic. I wanted a way out of it, but then I couldn't just pack my bags and go home. It was then that God began teaching me all this. Most importantly, I'm not to look forward to a time where every season I'd have to go through would spell out bliss at its finest, but to know that even in the not-so-comfortable seasons, He is with me, and, it's for the greater good. 😊

This is a truth that is echoed throughout Scripture. The great Bible personalities that we love to talk about each had a moment where they weren't necessarily "at home" with their people in regard to their native land and families, or in the most comfortable of seasons.

Moses for forty years lived in the wilderness, far removed from His own people. Joseph was sold as a slave by his brothers in Egypt and at some point was thrown in prison despite his innocence. David for a long time had to live in caves and was almost always on the run to save his life because Saul wanted to kill him so as to retain his position as King of Israel. Daniel and his three friends: Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were exiles in Babylon for seventy years. Esther too was a Jew in the vast kingdom of King Xerxes. Lastly and most importantly, Jesus...

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John 1:10-11NKJV 

He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him.

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Just like He was rejected by those He came to save, we too are bound to go through similar experiences. Jesus in fact warned His disciples before His arrest and crucifixion that the world was bound to hate them. It was made clear right from the start that they did not belong to the world. That they would face persecution. That they too would be rejected. Sad though it was, Jesus covered all that in His prayer for them; and, well, for us too, since we too are His disciples.

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John 17:14-18 NIV 

I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world.

My prayer is not that you take them out of the world 

but that you protect them from the evil one.

They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. 

Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. 

As you sent me into the world, 

I have sent them into the world.

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You realize that there's possibly "no way home." God is basically saying, "I'm the One that sent you there." What is there is the assurance of God's protection even in that 'foreign land'. There's more to this than what meets the eye. All those Bible personalities I listed earlier on have something in common. They were where they were because it was God who positioned them. They were good soldiers and ambassadors of God even in the dark places they found themselves in. Even though some like Daniel and his friends never got to go back home, they faithfully served God's purpose in their time in that foreign land. 

It clearly wasn't about managing the discomfort or the risk they had to face, but the fact that they had a divine mandate to fulfil. They had confidence in the God they had always known to be Faithful and True. Jesus I believe had the worst case scenario. He was betrayed by he who shared his bread, denied by the one who loved Him the most, and forsaken by those who had earlier on received and believed Him. Quite surprising it is that in all these things He remained content. His confidence?

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John 16:32 NIV

"But a time is coming, and has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me."

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Whatever your Egypt or Babylon looks like, it is not in vain that you are there. Even if your foot might have slipped already, God in His unfailing love will hold you up there and then (Psalms 94:18). It could even be in the middle of nowhere...in a wilderness perhaps. Even there, as long as God remains our "Home", we have a promise:

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Psalms 92:12-15 NIV

The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, 

they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon;

planted in the house of the LORD, 

they will flourish in the courts of our God.

They will still bear fruit in old age, 

they will stay fresh and green, proclaiming, 

"The LORD is upright; he is my Rock, 

and there is no wickedness in him."

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The goal is now to be with Him where He is...to be found in His Presence. It's only then that this Promise holds. We can be sure that He'll keep His part...He'll always be with us. Being part of His family is the most amazing thing...it's the kind you can never find anywhere else. I love reading the portion of Scripture below anytime I feel lonely. It's a beautiful reminder of just how beautiful and loving and perfect God's family is. Here's where I truly belong. (You might also want to check out the song 'Where I belong' by Building 429). 😊

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Hebrews 12:22-24 NIV 

But you have come to Mount Zion, to the heavenly Jerusalem, the city of the living God. You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly,

to the church of the firstborn, whose names are written in heaven. You have come to God, the judge of all men, to the spirits of righteous men made perfect,

to Jesus the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel.

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If everything else I said slips your mind, please hold this Scripture dear:

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1John 4:4 RSV

Little children, you are of God, and have overcome them; for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.

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I'll say that again, with a light touch of KJV,

🪷 Ye are of God. Ye belong to Him. 🪷

Fun fact 😂🙃...I made peace with this 😊:

Well, I don't usually do this but today's piece is close to my heart. I will share the prayer I made that gave rise to all this. It could be yours too. Just this once you get to see the actual words I used to express my genuine feelings as I made that prayer (more like a letter) that day. Be blessed!