the BARRED garden

It would be unwise to wrap up our study on Song of Songs without dealing with the elephant in the room, don't you think? It's literally been staring at us all this while.

Issues to do with romance in relationships fill our screens in all our social media platforms and the drama is quite entertaining honestly. Just the other day on Threads, boyfriends were hating on their girlfriends and a whole saga ensued. People are obsessed about finding that right partner, nowadays referred to as Mverified, Msafaricom, Mpermanent, Mpoa, Mheaven and the like; so much so that they build their entire lives around a vain imagination. I'm only a passive observer though ~ I really don't feel the need of getting into all that at this point in my life. 

I'm no expert in this field (I'm still nineteen so...🙂), but I get genuinely concerned when I see how this obsession makes people do things they would otherwise not do and start treading on extremes they once considered abominations. Now I'm not here to give a lecture 🙃, but to give a different viewpoint ~ one that's not modelled after the pattern of the world but of the Word of God, which is Truth. 

If we all were to examine ourselves carefully, we'd realize that our perception on love and romance has been shaped by the modern culture, especially through what we see ~ both in movies and series and on our social media platforms. We are subconsciously conditioned to believe that love is given and expressed only in certain ways. More specifically, that it's defined by sex. 

As a child, 'Don't mess with an Angel' was my favorite soap on NTV, and I dared not miss it for anything. I was so intrigued by Juan Miguel and Marichuy's love story that at some point I thought it was cute to be blind. I would literally close my eyes and walk around the house, counting the steps as Marichuy did and imagine that in so doing, 'my Juan Miguel' would fall in love with me then. I watched 'La Tormenta' too and began planning for my wedding in my head, and promised myself that we would do it on white horses because it seemed adorable. I'd literally imagine that my partner would one day come looking for me, riding on a beautiful horse 🤡. 

Much as it sounds ridiculous, that is how most of our perceptions on love have been shaped. When our reality fails to match the fantasies in our minds, the results are detrimental. My example up there is but a faint shadow of the many ideologies that the world has fed us with regarding love and relationships. If you think about it though, much of the moral decadence we see in the society today found its way into our minds through our screens. 

For starters, boundaries have now become non-existent. Sex, virginity and marriage are no longer considered honorable and sacred. Abominations are the order of the day. The values and guiding principles have been thrown out the window because they've suddenly become old and archaic. We have fed off the plate of the world and have neglected the place of the Word of God in being our ultimate guide in matters such as these. For every one of your stands regarding these things, if someone were to ask you, "Who told you...?", would it be the Word or the world?

As for me (and my house 🙂), we will let the Word of God inform and transform our minds ~ that we'll see these things the way God sees them. We're letting it form the blueprint of not just our relationships, but our entire lives, God helping us 😊. Let's begin, shall we?

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Song 4:12 NIV

You are a garden LOCKED UP, my sister, my bride; 

you are a spring ENCLOSED, a SEALED fountain. 

(emphasis mine)

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Of course, I'd start with virginity (I like what I did there with the Caps 🙂). Anyway, those right there were the words of Solomon to the Shulamite, probably after their wedding (which was at the end of chapter 3). It looks like it's their first night on their honeymoon and they're sort of preparing to get intimate with one another (Solomon uses his lines very well in the first 11 verses 🙂). The Shulamite's beauty is immensely praised and wrapped up in "You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you." Solomon was not yet done though ~ he saved the best for the last.

♥️

Song 4:12-15 NIV

You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride; 

you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain.

Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates 

with choice fruits, with henna and nard,

nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, 

with every kind of incense tree, 

with myrrh and aloes 

and all the finest spices.

You are a garden fountain, 

a well of flowing water 

streaming down from Lebanon.

♥️

The "garden" in this case wasn't literal. Solomon was praising the Shulamite's virginity in these words of poetry (I wonder whether each line had a figurative meaning 👀). He truly appreciated the fact that she had kept herself pure until that time. The garden in this case was private ~ locked up. It was sacred ~ both lovers were to regard it as holy. It was set apart ~ it wasn't a public garden, but had been preserved for the right one, at the right time. It was well-secured ~ very heavily guarded 🙂. It was invaluable ~ the fact that it was heavily guarded didn't reduce its worth. In any case, it added to it.

I know there are countless more scriptures that outrightly rebuke any kind of sexual immorality both in the Old and New Testament, but I'll not go into that for now (we're keeping it all lovey-dovey 🤭). I just want to try and make us all appreciate the beauty and the blessedness of virginity, and to make us desire to guard and preserve our gardens too. It isn't old-school to remain a virgin till marriage. It doesn't make you of less worth than those who are having all the "fun" now. In any case, it's what makes you of great worth. It's time you see things for what they are. Let the Word of God inform you. In it is the blueprint for your life. ♥️😊

I found a beautiful piece somewhere and I think I'd want my future husband to find my garden as beautiful and delightful 🤭...

Her garden is a paradise of delightful fruits, fragrant flowers, colorful blossoms, towering trees and aromatic spices. She is overwhelmingly beautiful, as refreshing and uplifting as spring flowers and enchanting spices. She is the embodiment of the rich life of spring itself. 

#Copied

Now I understand that some of us may not have properly guarded these gardens. Worse still, some gardens may have been forcefully entered and trampled on. Much as this cannot be reversed, it's possible to restore such disarrayed gardens to goodness, and to enclose them so as to prevent unwarranted access (secondary virginity we call it). 

Check this (posted it in Amplified version to save me the trouble of going through the context. You could check it out though 🙂):

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Song 8:8-10 AMP

[Gathered with her family and the wedding guests in her mother 's cottage, the bride said to her stepbrothers, When I was a little girl, you said] We have a little sister, and she has no breasts. What shall we do for our sister on the day when she is spoken for in marriage?

If she is a wall [discreet and womanly], we will build upon her a turret [a dowry] of silver; 

but if she is a door [bold and flirtatious], we will enclose her with boards of cedar.

[Well], I am a wall [with battlements], and my breasts are like the towers of it. Then was I in [the king 's] eyes as one [to be respected and to be allowed] to find peace.

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You could read the part in bold using more versions for better understanding. The Shulamite's brothers had taken it upon themselves when she was much younger to help her remain chaste until the time of her marriage. The wall signifies a woman with a heavily guarded garden, while the door refers to one that is rather loose. Because she was a wall and not a door, she brought the king (Solomon) much contentment. Note that not all hope is lost for the "door" kind of woman 🫠. She can still enclose her garden and redeem it before it gets utterly destroyed. 

So, are we ready to bar our gardens🤭🥳? (It's sad that there are no appropriate examples for the male gender, but I hope they get the idea. Virginity is just as important even for them 🙂). I wrote down a prayer because this is important to me ~ a prayer asking God to fortify the bars I've already put up around my garden. It's one thing to do it by your own strength. It's a different thing altogether when God is involved ~ He literally makes it all possible 😊. Let's involve Him in this, shall we?

The prayer is more of a pledge (just like we have a loyalty pledge to our nation), or a binding commitment (I literally signed mine🤭) between us and God. If your heart is truly willing, He will surely help you keep your part of the deal. That said, we can now bow our heads 🙂...

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Darling Jesus, 

I've been meaning to do this for quite a while now, and I'm so glad the day is finally here. 

This is my solemn promise to you, my Beloved...

Until the time is right, I will wait on You. I will not rush into what you have not ordained for me, neither will I seek to enjoy the pleasures of intimacy beyond the boundaries You've laid out in Your Word. I believe with all my heart that You make all things beautiful at their proper time; so, until that time comes, I will remain content. 

I pledge my garden to You, the chief Lover of my soul...that You would help me guard against those that might try to forcefully make their way in... those that may try to destroy the beauty that You have bestowed on it...and those that do not value it as much as You do. Preserve this garden according to Your will. Let it remain locked up, sealed and enclosed up until I say "I do" to the one You've destined just for me, when the time is right. 

Many though the dangers might be, please protect it as if it were the apple of Your eye, for I have dedicated it entirely to You. Help me do my part also in being watchful, alert and of sober mind. Let me be chaste not just in this way, but that even my heart, mind and soul would be pure. 

Over and above it all, thank You that You have betrothed me to You in love. Help me become a chaste virgin of Christ, and to be found ready when He, the Bridegroom, the chief Lover of my soul, returns. This here is my pledge to you, my Beloved.

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A sudden ending, no?

PS. You could refer to To bow, or not to bow :) for a more upfront approach 🙂.